I had a childhood, twas all mine, filled with feelings, developing emotions, skills learned by copying, by coping and by finding what worked. You I guess had a childhood too, and you, and you methinks.
But in the end, though I can make a guess at anothers early years, the only one I have a template upon which to base my life I think is my own
Then years later I wake up to all my prejudices, all my coping behaviors, when to run, when to fight, when to hide and when to submit. I have learned I think a skill set and it is based wholly on those infant years.
I think that this is true of each of us.
We learn a view of the world, a perception of what every single nuance in existence is to our consciousness, and so spend years repeating responses we have learned by rote.
I learn that many of these are learned first up by copying, in the main our care givers, secondarily those significant others that surround those developing years.
I have also explored Imago, the concept that we will in later years pick partners that match up with both the good and the unrequited wounds impacted upon us each in those primary years. Each with a skill set to mirror those wounds, each with a reflection of those skills least fulfilled within each of us.
But the key to me, and specifically why I spend a little time at least looking back upon my own developing years, is that these habits, these coping behaviors, though they may appear as our very unique template are in fact learned, programmed in by circumstance.
I think that anything programmed can be re-programmed. I have followed many ethos along the way, often forgotten that I am willing to change, and so fallen blind to the fact that I am able to change
There are different programmes out there, different responses that I am beginning to find may well serve me better in my journey.
Two things I think. Firstly I am trying to learn to listen. Seeing the diversity of another persons point of view, as opposed to imposing my universal template upon them, seems a pretty healthy alternative.
Secondly. It is good to look back from time to time, a telling way to teach myself not to be judgmental of the events of those times, to become more loving and less unenthusiastic about who I was.
After all it was the best version of me available at the time, and I guess I am as unique as the next person.
My friend and mentor Al Turtle taught me about the two chair trick, though tis tough in imagery alone as there are not always two chairs available.
These days when diverse points of view are presented me, or I find my Lizard Douglas in high dudgeon I try my best to look at the person speaking, or to whom I am addressing, and question, is it them (me) or is this a deeper rooted debate aimed at the person in the empty chair next to me??
Tis just my thinking
Kidding Around ...
Segregation of a gregarious child
Does the punishment ever seem too mild
Walking paths with gay abandon
Reaching out and putting your hand on
Touching, hearing, tasting the life of youth
Dancing round them adults with false truth
Mighty journeys adventure each day
Ten years old and you just want to stay
Fey mists of the grownups close and far
Twinkling laughter your sepulchre star
Weaving and ducking the punishment plan
Learning what they teach you since your life began
They sells you birthdays, Christmas and rockets
Then takes them away and hides them in their pockets
Mired in the shadows avoiding the gulf
Twixt them and a tramp named Beowulf
They run with a pack and urge your tryst
Don’t be a child too long, the rules insist
And so what of it, what of glorious days
The haze of a ten year old, his parents in a daze
Tis yours from first sight, from dawn till darkest night
This is the only truth; this is your birth right...
David Jackman 9th August 2014