Freedom to Think

From the earliest age my young life was influenced strongly by alcohol. After 50 years, a fair bit of 'em hiding in the shadows of denial, and self styled destruction, I am willing to look, in the clear light of day, at that most pernicous of comrades.


To look at the people around me and to me of course. I have drunk to exception, t'was what I learned, but I recognised some while ago it was mostly to belong; to a club peopled by so many of those significant others in my life. Wonderful, sad, hurting people, who both by obligation and invitation I watched try to hurt me, themselves, and others besides in the thrall of that shadowy Mephisto.


And then again at the non drinkers whose preaching and martyring refuses to acknowledge and work beyond the pain of this awful affliction. For so long I was frightened, taught I guess by my youth to hide in shadows of pretence and delusion. No more; I know much, I have paid attention......... I think I can help, and I would like to......Facing the hard truths is the first real step to getting better...CALL ME

Drink and a smoke, a bit of a natter

the pitter patter of cocktail chatter.

Rum and coke, laugh and joke,

wine or shandy, we all feel dandy.

Lots to say, cocky and fun,

place fillin up the evenings begun.

I like a drink, it's quite true to say,

I like to share my thoughts at end of the day.

I like to look nice holdin fun in a glass,

Don't ever remember fallin on my ass.

In my sexy dress I look pretty curvy,

another little drink and I feel a bit swervy.

He has nice eyes, I can see two or three

I'm sure that he's nice cos he's talkin to me.

Truth to be told if he's talkin I feel tops,

Don't like me very much without a drink, full stop.

It's dark and it's late and the drink wore me down

knickers round my knees lying on the ground,

I wish that I didn't, kid myself its all good

drink in my ruin, dyin where I'm stood.

Booze is my poison, I give it my power,

my weakness, my fear, my nightly happy hour.

There is a way out, they say it's hard and lonely,

twelve steps to freedom, need help, if only.

To wake up one day and not need my friend,

the numbness, the dumbness,

that least friendly friend,

that one who will get me,

when I can no longer pretend.....

David 24th Aug 13


Journeys of Jackman ..The wanderings, musings, learning and thoughts from one man who woke up


I think I mostly get out of it because I am so afraid of being in it (life) ...

I had a great night Alcohol-related-admission-007 drinkin alcohol2 The emotional desert

Thoughts and words about drinking

The best thing I have ever read in my journey to understand drinking was written by Hans Fallada, a German author who wrote this book in code whilst in an insane asylum in Nazi Germany